Identify warning signs early and build healthier relationships. 65 psychology-backed indicators help you recognize red flags and green flags in dating and relationships — before emotional attachment makes it harder to see clearly.
Flag Tracker is designed for anyone navigating the dating world or reflecting on existing relationships. Whether you're actively dating multiple people, in the early stages of a new relationship, or looking back on past patterns, Flag Tracker helps you see what might otherwise be invisible.
65 psychology-based indicators covering 30 red flags and 35 green flags. Each flag is grounded in relationship psychology research. Create custom flags based on your personal needs and experiences.
Visualize patterns over time with a chronological event timeline. See when red flags cluster, when green flags appear, and how the balance shifts across weeks and months.
Compare behavior patterns across partners with side-by-side charts and health scores. This feature helps you objectively evaluate which relationships are healthy and which show warning signs.
Automatic post-honeymoon shift detection, recurring red flag recognition, and balance shift alerts. The system identifies patterns you might miss when emotions are involved.
Personal journaling for relationship reflection with mood tracking. Research shows that writing about relationship experiences from a neutral perspective significantly reduces conflict and helps process emotions.
Set personal boundaries and get alerts when dealbreakers are triggered. Define what behaviors are absolutely unacceptable and let Flag Tracker monitor for them.
Track promises and agreements made with partners. Hold both yourself and your partner accountable for commitments made during the relationship.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you doubt your own reality, memory, or perception. In relationships, gaslighting can look like denying events that happened, trivializing your feelings, or shifting blame to make you feel responsible for their behavior. Over time, gaslighting erodes your self-confidence and makes it harder to trust your own judgment. Flag Tracker helps you document specific instances so you can see the pattern clearly, even when your partner tells you "it never happened."
Stonewalling occurs when one partner completely withdraws from interaction — refusing to communicate, giving the silent treatment, or emotionally shutting down during conflict. John Gottman identified stonewalling as one of the "Four Horsemen" that predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy. While occasional need for space is healthy, chronic stonewalling prevents conflict resolution and leaves the other partner feeling abandoned and unheard.
Love bombing is an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and flattery early in a relationship. While it feels wonderful, love bombing is often a manipulation tactic used to create rapid emotional dependency. Signs include excessive gift-giving, constant texting, pushing for commitment too quickly, and making you feel like "the one" within days or weeks. Flag Tracker's timeline feature helps you identify when the intensity of positive attention is disproportionate to the actual length of the relationship.
While mild jealousy can be normal, excessive jealousy and possessiveness are serious red flags. This includes monitoring your phone, questioning your interactions with others, trying to isolate you from friends and family, and reacting with anger when you spend time apart. Charlot et al. (2023) identified jealousy and possessiveness as one of seven warning signs that strongly predict intimate partner violence.
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior where one partner deliberately ignores the other as punishment. Unlike healthy time-outs (where both partners agree to pause and revisit the discussion), the silent treatment is designed to control, punish, and create anxiety. It leaves the receiving partner guessing what they did wrong and often leads to over-apologizing for things that aren't their fault.
Not everything in relationships is about warning signs. Flag Tracker also helps you recognize and appreciate positive patterns:
John Gottman identified the "Four Horsemen" that predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. He also established the "Magic 5:1 Ratio" — happy, stable relationships have approximately five positive interactions for every negative one. When this ratio drops below 5:1, the relationship is at significant risk. Flag Tracker's balance score is directly inspired by this research.
Written self-reflection from a neutral third-party perspective significantly reduces relationship conflict and aggressive outbursts. This finding forms the scientific basis for Flag Tracker's journaling features — writing about relationship events helps you process them more objectively.
Identified seven warning signs that strongly predict intimate partner violence: not taking responsibility for mistakes, reacting negatively to "no", attempting to control or change you, jealousy and possessiveness, rapid relationship escalation, isolation from friends and family, and mood unpredictability. Flag Tracker includes all seven as trackable red flags.
Research on how insecure attachment makes people more likely to stay in harmful relationships and rationalize red flags. Understanding your attachment style helps you recognize when you might be overlooking warning signs due to anxiety or avoidance patterns.
Verbally labeling emotions reduces amygdala activity and activates prefrontal cortex regions involved in emotional regulation. Simply naming what you feel — "I feel anxious when they don't respond" — helps your brain process the emotion more rationally. This is the scientific basis for Flag Tracker's mood tracking and journaling features.
Research shows problematic behavior patterns typically become clearly visible within three months of dating. During the initial "honeymoon phase," people present their best selves. As comfort increases, authentic behaviors emerge. Flag Tracker helps you identify these patterns before emotional attachment makes it harder to see red flags clearly. The post-honeymoon shift detection feature automatically alerts you when behavior patterns change significantly after the initial phase.
We understand that relationship data is deeply personal. Flag Tracker is built with privacy as a core principle:
60-day free trial with all features included. No credit card required to start. Then €3.77/month (VAT included). Cancel anytime — no lock-in contracts. Organization licensing available for therapists and counselors.